About him
'There is a difference between what a man says and thinks of himself, and what he is and does,' Marx.
Character testimonials...
'You disgust me,' ex-wife; caught me cheating at chess.
'Not only are you gonna to kill yourself, but you're gonna kill the rest of us,' colleague on a construction site watching me using a jackhammer.
'Do you actually believe the crap you're spouting?', a wicca/psychiatrist at an illegal forest rave.
"You're a fatalist and insane!", online dater.
Culture...
Books: Asterix.
Films: Hollywood blockbusters.
Music: LOUD!
Theatre: If the seats are comfy.
Museums: Only if free.
Art: The transcendentally sublime magnificence of the sky shames the aesthetic hubris of 'art' - a puny, ersatz, creativity. Without the evolutionary spasm of opposable thumbs, we would just be monkeys who jabber pretentiously.
Miscellaneous self-aggrandising...
Lifestyle: A wasted halcyon youth, running on dirty fuel, recursively chasing night/day, until enervated, has been exchanged for a rueful serenity; punctuated by hungover yoga.
Food: Concocting inedible curries; wonky chapatis; sticky pan rice; fiery passata; burnt chocolate.
Travelling: Escapades in North/South America; Europe, Caribbean; Middle East, and SE Asia, veered between serendipitous enjoyment and survival.
Dogs: I hate them; I've nothing against pets per se; and if you have one, I'll endeavour to make friends with it.
Job: Working at a moderately evil media firm, provides a modicum of intrinsic satisfaction but, alas, it's not a vocation; merely a banausic endeavour to service mortgage/bills, and pursue an epicurean life.
Politics: 'A conspiracy theory is just something the government doesn't want you to hear; and doesn't want you to think about,' (RFK JR).
Ambition: Be less humble; more judgmental.
Hobbies: Breathing.
Religion: Given my misanthropic tendencies, I hope to be reincarnated as a cloud - or a chat show host.
About his ideal match
SEX: “Whereof one cannot speak, thereof one must be silent,” Wittgenstein.
LOVE: ‘It is the stupidest, the most barbaric of all human passions...There is nothing more tedious, puerile, and inhumane than love,’ Woolf.
It is not imperative...if you do the dusting and are amenable to frequent nooky.
MONEY: 'Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure nineteen nineteen and six , result happiness. Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure twenty pounds ought and six, result misery,” (Dickens).
I'm disgustingly wealthy: annual income of £20; expenditure of 1p.
KIDS: 'My children are gifts' (Elle Macpherson).
They will grow old/infirm/die; see loved ones suffer the same ignominy. And will be enslaved by the daily imperatives to make coin and defecate.
KIND: 'There is a rollicking kindness that looks like malice,' Nietzsche.
From clothes to phones, we are vampires, denuding the vitality of children; women; men, animals and plants.
This is the disposition of nature; forces of attraction/repulsion; love/strife. These diabolical cosmic synergies swirl inside our synapses which are entangled with this universal preternatural dialectical energy.
On an interpersonal level; thoughts and actions, are shaped from the light/darkness permeating all reality; we are but creatures of Shadow; everyone kind/cruel.
HONEST: '“Whoever is careless with the truth in small matters cannot be trusted with important matters,' Einstein.
People are inveterate liars, according to psychologists; but their study respondents could be disingenuous about how much they lie - or maybe the researchers are.
Even if you are a freakish paragon of truth, your senses are not so veracious. Cognitive intuitions of empirical appearances are disingenuous - much to the chagrin of physicists.
Kindness and honesty, are not pre-requisites (or indeed epistemically feasible) but financial solvency, however, is.
Also, a willingness to tolerate my hubris; and contradict my conceited metaphysical nihilism.
