Two-Way Match

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Online: More than 6 months ago

Modified: More than 6 months ago

About her

Country of origin:
United Kingdom
Location:
Kensington & Chelsea, London, England
Gender:
Female
Age:
41
Star sign:
Capricorn
Height:
Ask me later
Body type:
Slim
Looks:
Very Attractive
Hair colour:
Dark Blonde
Eye colour:
Green
Marital status:
Ask me later
Looking for:
Activity partners; Friends; Let's see what happens; A short-term relationship
Have children:
No
Want children:
No
Daily diet:
Ask me later
Smoking:
Ask me later
Drinking:
Ask me later
Education:
Ask me later
Occupation:
Ask me later
Income:
Ask me later
Ethnicity:
Ask me later
Home language:
Ask me later
Other languages:
Ask me later
Religion:
Ask me later

About her ideal match

Country of origin:
Anywhere in the World
Location:
Anywhere in the United Kingdom
Gender:
Male
Age range:
Any
Star sign:
Any
Height:
Any
Body type:
Any
Looks:
Any
Hair colour:
Any
Eye colour:
Any
Has a photo:
Not important at all
Marital status:
Any
Have children:
Any
Want children:
Any
Daily diet:
Any
Smoking:
Any
Drinking:
Any
Education:
Any
Occupation:
Any
Income:
Any
Ethnicity:
Any
Home language:
Any
Other languages:
Any
Religion:
Any
  • Not important at all
  • Slightly important
  • Moderately important
  • Decidedly important
  • Non-negotiable

In Her Own Words

About her

Most people think they are fascinating, I won't lie though, I also think that about myself. On the other hand, I can be a boring, moody bitch who takes out her moods on a partner whether they deserve them or not. I am funny and also sometimes irrelevant. I can be silly or a wind up or a great laugh depending on anything.

My bad points are that I sometimes don't turn the telly over quick enough when sex and the city comes on and also I get really high pitched when emotional sometimes, you might as well know that now, I am not getting dumped for breaking an ear drum again. My good points are that I have been a brilliant and natural swearer since I was 5. I know a lot of trivia about stuff you don't know about. I lack patience and tolerance so I make up for it by blaming the world and anyone near me for whatever is pissing me off. One of the best things about me though is that I know for a fact that contacting your dead relatives is a load of bollocks. The last medium I saw, Sheila who lived in North London, told me my dead nan was helping me find Mr Right. That is wrong for a start because my nan was a militant lesbian who hated men and so there is no way she would have said that. So if you go out with me I won't bring you to any psychic shows or nudist stuff. Nudists are mental so jog on if you are one.

I have not paid to join this yet, until i get my money for selling my story on a famous reality star, I can't join. So if you want a guaranteed answer, pay me in. If anyone knows anything about electronics and tag removal email me too, I have a curfew of 7pm for 2 more months.

About her ideal match

No guys pretending to be single or feminist. No doctors or social workers or teachers please. Any guy who thinks he has a big brain stop reading now and any guy who thinks he is funny also can leave. Many men are not nearly as funny as they think they are and I am a bad fake laugher. If you are as funny as Noel Gallagher email back, otherwise, unfunny is more welcome. i can make myself laugh, I don't need a man for that. I am looking for a guy who is thick enough to be rich and generous and fall in love with me, but bright enough to know that he is a bit thick and therefore he will remain grateful to be with me.

This statement makes me sound like a strong, bolshy, female and this may bring all the s&m 'slaves' crawling out of the woodwork. No 'slaves' required, if you want that sort of thing, bugger off to a professional Mistess. Stand up for yourself or I won't respect you. Also no guys who think I want to hear all their problems because I am female. Again, get a therapist you cheapskate. No men 'confused' about their sexuality or bi-sexuals please. I don't believe in men bi-sexuals, I think they are all just gay.

I do have low standards though so even chauvenists can try their luck because as stated earlier, I do not discriminate against thickos. No bad breath guys and if we go on a date, wash your hands after you go to the loo. I will be timing you too because I went on a date once with a guy who went to the mens for a number one (as he gallantly informed me), took about a minute and then come back and tried to hold my hand! Wash your hands after you have been holding your willy!! You get piss drips on your hands you dirty monkeys!! If that happens on a date with me, no matter what the conversation topic is, I will start talking about my fucking period and try and time it for when you are putting something squishy in your mouth just so you know how off putting that lack of manners is. By the way, you pay the dates.

More about her

Non_Fat_Non_Slag has not yet answered any of the optional questions that would tell you more about her.