dullasditchwaterdullasditchwater
5

dullasditchwater

65 – Birmingham, West Midlands, England

Bigotted,argumentative, idiot, with halitosis and no sense of humour, seeks princess

Two-Way Match

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Online: Yesterday

Modified: A week ago

Mobile number not yet verified.

In His Own Words

About him

Why get to know Dull?
Well, I suppose it could be fun and if not well, what have you lost? You know you'll never see your signing up fee again, so you may as well get your money's worth and gather your rose husks whilst ye may. Just think, paradise could be a few soul jerking one liners (from your self-penned teenage poetry) away. "I'd like to find you in the shower and chase the soap for half an hour" or "Shall I compare thee to a summer's day, you make me wheeze like fresh mown hay" – both work for me. Or for the less adventurous a "send standard response " - if such a cynical thing exists on a site that targets Times readers, Ivorytower inhabitors, Classicfm listeners, Talkingpicturetvtogether watchers, Farmerwantsawife agriculturalists and others drawn into this vortex of matchmaking.
But mostly because I’ll make you think, smile, chuckle, laugh and occasionally guffaw. If you ever feel like having your brain exercised then I’d be happy to take it around the block a few times. And I would expect you to do the same for me. Take it as read that I’m considerate, kind, honest compassionate and passionate, I’ve yet to read a profile in which someone describes themselves as a prolific liar, who hates kissing, is unable to empathise and complains about the smoke from real fires. Although my first priority will always be my daughter, there is room in my heart for someone who will help me wash up and put out the bins.
I have a practical side and can derive almost as much satisfaction from replacing the motor of a Hoover Whirlpool 1000 as going to the cinema. If you already know that the carbon brushes on this particular model wear prematurely causing damage to the commutator, then please email me immediately and we can arrange deeply sensual, candle-lit discussions about servicing domestic appliances.

Oh yes, a good friend of mine (aren’t all quotes on here from “good friends”?) describes me as “reliable and unflakey”, whatever that means. My enemies describe me as “ A *& (^$& and an absolute %^*£”

About his ideal match

The usual things, such as integrity, honesty, kindness, sensitivity, sensuality and a sense of humour. A sense of fun and an enjoyment of people are also crucial. A delight in life. The preparedness to be chased around the garden or to sit at the kitchen table and construct erotic suggestions with alphabetti spaghetti. There is no other reason for opening a tin of it.

I'd derive my greatest pleasure from making you smile, broadly. Possibly because you've just eaten my food, or because you're amused by some puckish remark I've just made. Maybe you'd smile when I fit new bearings to your washing machine (that's not a euphemism) or surprise you with an unexpected gift from poundland. I love it when people are happy because of me.... and not just because I'm leaving.

I'd like it if you had a sense of adventure and excitement for the new. An ability to understand that different is not necessarily a problem or that normal should not always be the desired objective. A contentment with who you are and an appreciation that on the whole, we are very, very lucky. A passion of some kind, whether it be for your work, or your pastime.

What His Friends Say

dullasditchwater hasn't asked any friends to write a recommendation yet.

About him

Country of origin:
United Kingdom
Location:
Birmingham, West Midlands, England
Gender:
Male
Age:
65
Star sign:
Ask me later
Height:
5' 9" (175cm)
Body type:
Average
Looks:
Average
Hair colour:
Greying
Eye colour:
Ask me later
Relationship Status:
Divorced
Looking for:
Activity partners; Let's see what happens; A long-term relationship; Something casual
Have children:
Yes, not living with me
Want children:
Ask me later
Daily diet:
Eat most things
Smoking:
E-cigarette User
Drinking:
Occasionally
Education:
University
Occupation:
Retired
Income:
Comfortable
Ethnicity:
White/Caucasian
Home language:
English
Other languages:
Ask me later
Religion:
Ask me later

About his ideal match

Country of origin:
Anywhere in the World
Location:
Within 40 miles of postcode district B13 (Birmingham)
Gender:
Female
Age range:
59 - 67
Star sign:
Any
Height:
5' 0" (152cm) - 6' 2" (189cm)
Body type:
Slim; Average; Athletic; A few extra pounds; Curvaceous
Looks:
Any
Hair colour:
Any
Eye colour:
Any
Has a photo:
Not important at all
Relationship Status:
Any
Have children:
Yes, not living with me; Yes, living with me; Yes, living with me sometimes
Want children:
Any
Daily diet:
Any
Smoking:
Never; Occasionally
Drinking:
Never; Occasionally; Several times a week
Education:
Any
Occupation:
Any
Income:
Any
Ethnicity:
Any
Home language:
English
Other languages:
Any
Religion:
Any
  • Not important at all
  • Slightly important
  • Moderately important
  • Decidedly important
  • Non-negotiable

More about him

Personality
Sense of humour:
I don't have one
Intelligence:
Intellectually Challenged
Ruled by:
The heart
Party behaviour:
An average mingler
Personality traits:
Happy; Trustworthy
Valued qualities:
Compassion; Faithfulness; Honesty; Humour; Kindness; Sexiness
Fashion sense:
Casual (I'm usually in my favourite jeans)
Favourite clothing:
Some sensual satin lingerie
Favourite colour:
Other
Is the glass half full or half empty:
Depends what's in it
More physical characteristics
Hair style:
Well-behaved
Eyesight:
I wear glasses
Facial hair:
I have a full beard
Body hair:
Average
Body art:
I don't have any
Leisure & entertainment
Date activities:
A picnic in a park; Dinner at a restaurant; Going out dancing; Going to the theatre; Meeting for coffee; Meeting for drinks; Going for a walk
TV habits:
I prefer listening to the radio
Movie frequency:
Occasionally or irregularly
Food
Cooking:
I love it!
Food:
Chinese; Fast food; French; German; Greek; Indian; Italian; Japanese; Seafood; Sushi; Thai; Vietnamese
Go Out to Eat:
I eat out a few times a week
Dietary Restrictions:
I have none
More lifestyle
Pace of Life:
Organised
Time at work:
I'm retired
Pastimes of choice:
Pursuing a hobby
Time online:
I check in once a day
Family size:
I've got brothers and sisters
Family contact:
I'll bring them on our first date
Willing to Relocate:
For the right person, to the moon!
Likes & dislikes
Animals:
I like animals
Pets (Like):
Bird(s); Cat(s); Dog(s); Rodent(s)
Turn-ons:
Dancing; Flirting; Intelligence; Showing affection in public
The deep stuff
Work aspirations:
I already have my ideal job
Religious attendance:
I'm non-practising
Dream home:
Other
Politics:
Left of centre
Retirement plans:
Living in the country
Feelings about using Encounters Dating:
Optimistic
Honesty:
Extremely